i'm so looking forward to my BKK trip AGAIN!!!
becos i'm so sick & tired of this job.. additional fact that belle will be gone, there's no more fun in this office anymore.. hate this kind of aimlessly looking towards nothing at all ...

read this from the magazine which i find it like totally totally true ::

when u lose someone who is soo dear to you , u will go into a grieving process. which includes stages of shock, denial, anger , despair & acceptance.
when this relationship ended, you're force to give up the dream and future which inclues that someone, be it whether a person pass away or u have broken up with the special one.
it's impt to be able to talk honestly & openly about the deceased with other family members and not let it become a taboo subject . sometimes, talking it out is so much better than keeping them all inside.
let it loose and "they" still stay inside ur heart.
what shld u do is to look at the situation honestly and accept that the time together is over. and u must not make any excuses about the other person's behavior. *(this is when u face a break-up, i think)

the key is not to force yourself to feel better right away.
every stage of ur life is a growing process so how u handle them will be a challenge everytime.


                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hmm..oh well.
let head on to the next impt thing !!
my sis's wedding.
what i need :
dress * prefer to not show my flabby arm =(
any good shopping website to recommend, pls email me. . thanks.
erm, mayb a comfy heels. i really need to look tall that day.
what else.. oh, a bag !! that can fit my camera, hp and some cards and cash.

good luck to me.. and i think i really need to pratice my speech-making.. * that's the hardest part.

TO "C" ::   GOOD LUCK.. erm, but where u going ah ? ?
TO "A" (if u ever read) :: hope ur mom is fine. wishing her good health all the way ~

i misses cat too !! soo much ~~~

great great movie.. it's damn exciting, fun and super duper cute.. the dragon called "toothless" aka night fury.

the story plot and everything was good, despite the fact that i didnt watch it in 3D. i think it's good still.

not to mention that there's two "handicapped" ppl with us =X

next movies on my list::

REC 2 *

Clash Of The Titans

To "C" :: thanks for the advice for my sis wedding .. need to get over it !!!

&& i did a little laugh for the "invitation thingy", the handwriting is abit ... weird.. =D

~~~ back to work ~~~

tml is month end closing.. need to rush my work & hopefully can go see doc again .

finally, it's decided on the dress that i'll be wearing to my sis's wedding..
day: it will be the "flowery" dress of hers, since i dun want to buy a new one. dunno why she insisted that her "sisters" should be wearing clothes with flowers !! i damn hate those flowery dress.. i always like to be on the safe side, which is those like black or solid colours clothes..
but no choice, it's her wedding mah..
night: will be a white tube dress with a pink ribbon tied. she will be buying it for me!! BUT..... with a condition which i really really hate .. I HAVE TO BE HER MC..
i will be the one on stage and say welcome and everything to her guests !! GOSH !! i totally have stage fright since i was young..
i'm trying very very hard and hope i can overcome it by that day..

here's what i found online :

Stage Fright Strategies



Stage fright Is Good and Makes You Better Looking Too!


Before you learn how to deliver your lines, it is important to be ready to deliver your lines. Stage fright is a phenomenon that you must learn to control. Actually, stage fright isn't the most accurate term for the nervousness that occurs when considering a speaking engagement. In fact, most of the fear occurs before you step on-stage. Once you're up there, it usually goes away. Try to think of stage fright in a positive way. Fear is your friend. It makes your reflexes sharper. It heightens your energy, adds a sparkle to your eye, and color to your cheeks. When you are nervous about speaking you are more conscious of your posture and breathing. With all those good side effects you will actually look healthier and more physically attractive.



Many of the top performers in the world get stage fright so you are in good company. Stage fright may come and go or diminish, but it usually does not vanish permanently. You must concentrate on getting the feeling out in the open, into perspective and under control.


Remember Nobody ever died from stage fright. But, according to surveys, many people would rather die than give a speech. If that applies to you, try out some of the strategies in this section to help get yourself under control. Realize that you may never overcome stage fright, but you can learn to control it, and use it to your advantage.

anyway.. i will try my best. it's her big day.. and i want it to be memorable. =)

Green

Green Zone

"Green Zone", a film set in the chaotic early days of the Iraqi War when no one could be trusted and every decision could detonate unforeseen consequences. During the U.S.-led occupation of Baghdad in 2003, Chief Warrant Officer Roy Miller (Damon) and his team of Army inspectors were dispatched to find weapons of mass destruction believed to be stockpiled in the Iraqi desert. Rocketing from one booby-trapped and treacherous site to the next, the men search for deadly chemical agents but stumble instead upon an elaborate cover-up that inverts the purpose of their mission. Spun by operatives with intersecting agendas, Miller must hunt through covert and faulty intelligence hidden on foreign soil for answers that will either clear a rogue regime or escalate a war in an unstable region. And at this blistering time and in this combustible place, he will find the most elusive weapon of all is the truth.

The lesson learnt here is nothing is at it seems and one should never take anything at face value.
despite the fact that Matt Damon is so damn handsome, the movie quite anger me sometimes. it's the reality of life.. big bully small and all..
no doubt that the plot is all good and as usual, there's no good ending of this kind of story..

i'm just back from JB & KL.. is a short 4 days 3 nights trip with loved family..
but when i back from work, it spell HELL.. all the work are on my table without anyone touching them..
isnt that just GREAT !! **
my DEAREST SE stil have the cheek to ask me how i am feeling when belle have already seek help for me..
what i reply :: " cant see izzit, already 3 days of work piling up plus today is 4 days liao, what u expect.. , i cant finish also like that" .... .... he smiles and said i'm his idol and walked off..

i seriously cant have somebody to take me seriously..
they always tot i'm joking with them.. WTF..

anw.. will blog my trip when i have the time >_<

i miss old days.. but they have already past, so i'm looking forward to my future.
although i have no idea what it'll be like but i need to move on.
i dunno whether to study or to work.. i cant stop working since my burden is too big for me to carry..
my family need me and i need to work hard..
daddy's company is closing down and mummy is looking for job. with no exp or qualifications, i have no idea how hard it is to find a job for her and for my dad, i have no idea what he wants to do..
but luckily my bro found a part time job at the casino. less one prob for me to care..

jia you !! (BA XIA) =)

i'm in deep deep shit..
i just realise i've been living my life in total darkness..
everything is completely spoiled by me.
i dunno what to do now, dunno what path to take and dunno what my future holds..
all i could do is to stare at the com, looking blindly at everything !!
what the fuck have i done in my life.. !!
i feel like an retard+++

*
why doest life have guidelines to follow??